Gretchen Watch!

Just a quick update from the Land of the Double Mitten.

“A Federal Judge in Michigan has ruled Gentleman’s Clubs are eligible for Wuhan Virus federal assistance, claiming businesses cannot be discriminated against. And let’s be honest, the clubs give guys more joy than a Walmart or Amazon.

Strip club workers and owners, losing their shirts in this coronavirus pandemic, cannot be barred from emergency federal loans and grants, a federal judge ruled on Monday.

U.S. District Judge Matthew Leitman sided with plaintiffs, led by the DV Diamond Club in Flint, Michigan, and said the Small Business Administration — in doling out finds from the Paycheck Protection Program — cannot exclude legal businesses deemed to be of a “prurient sexual nature.”

The great civil rights hero, Karl the Barber, is still in business even though he doesn’t have a license at this point. His lawyers are working on it and of course there is no one to enforce it. Local cops won’t do it. The County Mounties said, “fuck you, Gretchen!” And the State Troopers are dodging the issue by pointing out that their doctrine requires two officers for every person present for the named subject to be addressed. At this point they’d need to round up better than forty troopers and the commandant knows he can’t find that many who will do it. He had enough trouble finding six, the first time.

Meanwhile Karl Manke contines to clip his quality haircuts just like he always has.

Finally the commission to Recall Governor Whitmer will be ready to collect signatures on July 2nd. Normally these things come to nothing but in this case there will be enough to trigger the recall.

Okay, I’m done here.