You say, you’re worried about this here new Chinese Flu that is sweeping the land my friend? You say, you are not satisfied with just washing your hands twelve times a day and are looking for something as powerful as snake oil but less oily?
Never fear, my friends! Old Honest “Doc” Cataline has the cure for what might or might not be ailing you!
Mylan (MYL) and Teva Pharmaceuticals (TEVA) plan to jumpstart production of hydroxychloroquine, which is also approved for treating lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. The medicine has been prescribed sparingly, mostly to travelers, and was in short supply this month, according to the American Society of Health-System Pharmacists, which counted a handful of manufacturers that were not shipping tablets.
But why wait for Teva to get it’s ass in gear. You need protection now, right!
Good news! There is source available to you right now. Tonic Water. Expensive as hell, vintage tonic water.
“(I)t was born in the 18th century for medicinal purposes against the risks of malaria in the colonies of India and Africa, where water was sanitized with high doses of quinine, extracted from the bark of the cinchona tree, aka “fever tree”. The drink was so bitter that to round off the taste it was often added with flavoured substances; British troops stationed in India added gin, a distillate produced in great quantities in England since the late 17th century. This is how the international Gin & Tonic was born, one of the world’s most famous classic cocktails. Nowadays tonic water is a predominantly industrial product in which water is added with carbon dioxide, sugar, aromas, synthetic and lower dose quinine, which gives the drink its typically pleasant bitter taste, accompanied by citrus accents provided by citric acid, often with the help of preservatives such as E202 (potassium sorbate) and E211 (sodium benzoate). These are basic products, popular in taste and in price, which monopolize the market: from the small suburban bar to the large-scale retail outlet, to the trendy modern speakeasy. But the focus on natural products and the search for gourmet quality has not spared soft drinks. Those looking for an alternative to chemical juices will find premium tonic waters made with natural quinine, extracted from the bark of cinchona…”
So there you are my friends! All you need is an old fashioned type of tonic water like Fever Tree. Readily available as liquor stores have now been redesigned as essential services.
Will it work? You ask.
Don’t know! I reply.
But provided you remember the gin you are unlikely to mind until things are really bad.