The Theory and Practice of Washing Your Hands

In case Grandma wasn’t as strict with you as she was with me.

Understandable in my case. I recall I had an elaborate ritual known as pretending to wash my hands. I have no idea why I went to all the trouble of turning on the spigots running them for twenty seconds, wet the soap and damp the hand towel when it would have been a hell of a lot easier just to wash my freaking hands.

And spare my aged Grandma the effort of having to give my dumbass a swat.

6 thoughts on “The Theory and Practice of Washing Your Hands

  1. I have it on good authority that my 6 year old daughter (long time ago) would fake brushing her teeth. She’d go so far as to wet the toothbrush “in case mom checks”. How do I know? While on a trip she was advising my son to do the same – while he was testing the video camera. After recording her confession, it ends with her saying “wait, are you recording this?” and my son bobbing the camera up down with an affirmative reply. I miss those day.


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