Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge Deathwatch

A little early to be starting a deathwatch, you say?

Perhaps but the rumors among the Disneyland cast-members paint a very dire picture indeed.

This is from a Twitter user (so big grain of salt there) who goes by Kslone: “The attractions and attendance have to get better at Galaxy Edge or it’s going to get restructured. My son (works at Disney) said the rumor – is that the park is waiting for the numbers in Feb. to come in (after the next attraction opens) if it doesn’t improve, it may be rebranded.”

“Smugglers Edge (Millennium Falcon ride) is really bad. It’s basically an overpriced video arcade game. It’s odd for Disney to fail so epic in the parks. The entire land, including the Cantina is one big let down.”

“… Hours have been cut, attendance is WAY down, sales are extremely low compared to last summer and management have been told to ask part-time castmembers to take ADOs (additional days off). The park took a major hit this summer. In addition, the college programs conversions were suspended for the first time in YEARS. Some part-time cast members are getting 1-2 days a week. No attendance. No labor.”

“To be fair, not sure if anyone can figure out why it Galaxy Edge failed so badly. Maybe it was the $50 ticket increase. Who knows… corporate rumors are: IF the next attraction that opens in Galaxy Edge flops, then the land may be rebranded to fit ‘Aladdin’ and future sequels.”

Oh, I know exactly why it failed so badly. This generation of kids aren’t interested in Star Wars. None of them are clawing at their parents and pleading, “pleasepleaseplease, can we go?!?!?”

Star Wars has always been (at least up until Disney bought it up) a boy friendly franchise. You wanted to be either the cool smuggler or the laser sword wielding space knight or the mysterious bounty hunter with no face or the super cool, all powerful bad guy with asthma. No little boy wants to be some loser that follows this girl around like a lost puppy or for that matter be a mopey, emo and always slightly moist, bad guy who loses all the time. They most especially don’t want to be the girl unless they have the kind of parents that should be stoned.

The thing is, Rey is such a shitty character, little girls want nothing to do with her either. They might have been able to sell her to adolescent girls if they had done her right. Katniss Everdeen pulled down a total of three billion world wide and she was also a Mary Sue. But Katniss had the standard conflicting romantic interests, where as “Rey’s sexuality is as desolate and unexplored as the deserts of Tatooine.” There is nothing for anyone to latch on to with Rey except childless feminists and they don’t go to Disneyland.

As for the parents themselves, well maybe they would have wanted to go to Galaxy’s Edge if it had been set during the original trilogy but none of us want to visit a Star Wars world where Han, Luke and Leia are dead.

Dad (long tired sigh): Kids, do you want to go see the Star Wars thing when it opens up in Disney World.

Kids: Can’t we go see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter instead?

Dad: Sold!

One thought on “Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge Deathwatch

  1. Disney has to make everything Princess centric. In SW’s case, it has become the British waif story.

    You think Katniss was a Mary Sue? I would say she was just the opposite which is why the movies did well. She’s not loved by everyone. She doesn’t know how to do everything. I would say she isn’t one and that is one reason the movies did well.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s