Yeah, It Sucks: Star Trek Lower Decks

Pictured: No\’l Wells as Ensign Tendi; Eugene Cordero as Ensign Rutherford; Tawny Newsome as Ensign Mariner; Jack Quaid as Ensign Boimler of the CBS All Access series STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS. ©2019 CBS Interactive, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Alex Kurtzman’s winning streak continues unabated.

Now he’s failing at humor.

Honestly, this shouldn’t be that hard. People have been doing funny Star Trek satire for better than 40 years.

Secret Hideout could have hired some of Futurama’s old writers and then just got out of the way. But then Alex Kurtzman might have produced something that Star Trek fans actually like and that, would apparently, run counter to the oath he took on his very soul to produce nothing that any Star Trek would ever like.

Star Trek: Lower Decks maintains this proud tradition

Basically, this is a comedy where they forgot to insert any jokes. There is a constant stream of gags. The strategy is to try and instill humor by the sheer volume of material being shown at the audience. Believe it or not, this CAN work, Airplane! and Police Squad are examples where it worked just fine.

Doctor Leslie Neilson: Tell the captain he’s got to land the plane as soon as possible. We’ve got to get this woman to a hospital!

Stewardess: Hopital? What is it?

Doctor Leslie Neilson: It’s a big building with a lot of patients but that’s not important right now.

But this is more like Ghostbusters (2016), All of the characters are talking over each other constantly. It’s all punchlines with zero setup. I never laughed once. And according to Metacritic I’m not the only one. I was expecting low audience scores but shockingly the critics didn’t care for it either. The critical aggregate score was a shockingly low 59%. It was mostly middling to low reviews with a few shill outfits like Collider doing their usual frantic knob-slobbering.

The show’s basic problem is that it’s too busy making sure Critical Race Cult checkboxes are ticked to try and be funny.

Stat Trek: Lower Deck’s protagonists are Cartoon Michael Burnham who has a different name in this but it’s the same Mary-Sue. A green alien, lesbian. Cyborg and Incompetent-White-Male-Clown. There is also Captain Diverse Woman of Mary-Sue and a couple of Lieutenant Chad Strawmen and Doctor McCoy Cat.

I was writing better Star Trek satire than this when I was in College.

Chief Wormer: Your turn to sanitize the HoloDeck, Able-Spacer Bruunock.

Bruunock (suspicious): Who used it last?

Chief Wormer (a little guiltily): Lieutenant Worf.

Bruunock (disgust and horror): Hell no! Not again. He gets his goop into the ceiling vent. that shouldn’t be possible!

But once again, Alex Kurtzman has hired writers who have never seen an episode of Star Trek and are never planning to.


Yeah, it sucks.

5 thoughts on “Yeah, It Sucks: Star Trek Lower Decks

  1. In a way, every bad thing one could say about this show is already laid out by that image at the top; just put some rainbow on the dyke one and you’re good to go.


  2. Interesting fact I recently learned – Airplane was an over-the-top remake of a 50’s movie called Zero Hour. Many of the lines and scenes, or at least the starting point, in Airplane, were lifted straight from that movie.


  3. I knew Orci/Kurtzman were bad news as soon as I walked out of the second Transformers movie. The first one had just enough of Senor Spielbergo’s fingerprints on it to cover up the bad writing, but that second film killed my suspension of disbelief within the first 10 minutes and just got worse from there.

    How does this idiot keep getting money? Isn’t this like his third failed Trek show?


    1. This might sound crazy, but maybe Hollywood hates Star Trek and hopes that by putting out enough crap it will kill off the franchise?


  4. Any smart late stage imperialist knows that when you expect bread and circuses to keep the proles pacified, you don’t fuck around with the circuses. Leftists aren’t smart though, and since they thought they’d won the Culture War, they crammed propaganda into the circuses both to brainwash the up and coming youth and to rub salt in the faces of the unconverted. SJWs just don’t have the patience needed to achieve victory. If only they’d waited another ten years to go full PC, they’d have put Hillary into the white house, imported 20 million more Democratic voters, sold 3/4ths of the country to China, and would have had everything in place to go Full Jackboot Kill Whitey Authoritarian.


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