The Iron Ding-Bat

UPDATE: In reply to Governor Whitmer’s statement today; I did not get a check from the DeVoss family for writing this post. I did this on my own, uncompensated in any way by anyone, as a public service.* And because I hate her.

I was right, the cases of Corona are definitely on the downside.  There will be rising fatalities for a bit while the virus runs its course with the previously infected.  But that too will shortly begin to subside. 

In consequence, the governor of Michigan, Gretchen “The Iron Ding-Bat” Whitmer will undoubtedly demand that her emergency powers be extended for the next two years or until she becomes Vice-President or both.

Anyone who has ever worked retail shudders when someone like her walks in the door.  One look at her and you know that within minutes she will “want to speak with your manager!”

“In Michigan, Governor Karen O’Karenheimer decided that buying non-essential stuff should be outlawed, and guess who decided what’s non-essential? Well, dope appears essential, but dope smokin’ morons make up a lot of the Democrat base (and the Libertarian base too), so off course hopheads get a pass. But gardening supplies and seeds? Nah. Why? Because, that’s why. You might think it was mind-bendingly stupid if you did not understand her real motivation – it’s the giddy joy of bossing you around. To paraphrase a great line from Heat, which everyone should do as often as possible, the fascism is the juice.

The Karenists love this. Love it. And that’s why they are fighting tooth and nail to extend this lockdown in perpetuity. Oh, they have excuses and rationalizations to make it seem like this is for our own good as opposed for their jollies. “Safety.” “Lives at stake.” You know them all. And in theory, those are real considerations. But they are not the only considerations. Not for the Karens – they can want to save lives even as they gleefully get off on their own power – and not for us either. We need to balance all the considerations in deciding when this ends. Safety is an important thing, but not the only thing. If the standard is no life can ever be put at risk, say good-bye to cars, to steak, to swimming pools, to any kind of freedom to make choices. And to the Karens, that’s a feature, not a bug.”

She had also banned motorboating and jet skiing  but not kayaking and canoeing because they were less of problem for spreading COVID-19 for reasons that are only imaginable to the mind of an idiot.  She graciously allows us to go on walks in the park but has banned golfing because… “because REEEE YOU JUST DON’T GET IT! I CAN’T EVEN!! REEEEEEE.” 

She wouldn’t allow gardening supplies to be sold at garden shops but did allow them to be sold at Walmart, Meijer and Home Depot.  When the gardening shops complained about this she (in perfect soviet commissar logic) banned the sale of gardening supplies everywhere.  Which means that this activity that is done by yourself away from everyone else is now forbidden by the Iron Ding-Bat.

American flags may not be sold now by Empress Gretchen’s command.  You can see them forlornly roped off with, “sales of these items deemed not necessary to sustain life and are banned by order of Governor Whitmer,” signs in front of them.

Gtretchen only has this job for one reason, she is the proud owner of a vagina.  That’s it really, that and a strong desire to tell everyone how to live their lives down to the moment that they are to rise in the morning, how many times they are allowed to shit during the day, what they may eat and what time they must go to bed.

I knew she was an idiot long before the rest of the state did but I am quite grateful that my idiot governor dropped the mask before she became the vice-presidential candidate.  Now I think she still will be the Wandering Joe’s VP but in two more weeks she will be unable to carry her home state.  This will be known to the Democrats but they will still put her on the ticket because her retarded antics won their hearts. 

She’s one of them and she just proved it.

*However if the DeVoss family wishes to send me check…

8 thoughts on “The Iron Ding-Bat

  1. I’m also from Michigan, and love your name for Whitless Whitmer. The Iron Ding-bat has outdone herself this time, and she was going for more. She wanted this to be extended until the middle of June. Apparently she’s getting a big backlash now, so hopefully she backs down on all this, and we open up again soon. But she also said she won’t open up until Fauci says we’re good to go, and he keeps dooming and glooming all of this.

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  2. When I worked in hotels there was a certain type of customer who was a nightmare. Oddly enough they tended to have the triangle haircut, long shorts, & be named Karen.

    They almost always booked through third parties, Expedia Priceline etc & pretended not to understand the rules of those bookings to demand free upgrades.

    Sad your state is being run by one of these witches. I get how she won the general, Rick Snyder is how. But how exactly did she win the primary?

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  3. It is hard to believe that Gavin Newsom is not the Democratic governor with the nuttiest antics and response to the coronavirus crisis. The Iron-Ding Bat is making him look great. In fact, Gavin Newsom figured out he just needs to run behind Trump as Trump carries the football up the field.

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  4. Wait you can’t even buy stuff that’s in the store that you are allowed to shop at? I ain’t even stopped working yet. God bless Texas.

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  5. If Sun Tzu had written a political Art of War, I believe this whore for power would be in the chapter entitled “Give Them More Rope to Hang Themselves.” It’s fantastic that all those infected with Trump Derangement Syndrome can’t stop being bat-shit crazy to the point even the normies find it off-putting. Keep it up, Karen.

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