It’s finally here!
The first chapter of the first book of the Star Wars: The High Republic series has been released online.
If the rumors are true this is the last gasp of Woke Star Wars before Jon Favreau takes over the whole thing. If so, Kray-Kray Kay-Kay is making the most of her swan song.
Make sure you have a drink at hand before you start reading:
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
“It is the time of The High Republic: a peaceful union of like-minded worlds where all voices are heard, and governance is achieved through consensus, not coercion or fear. It is a time of ambition, of culture, of inclusion, of Great Works. Visionary Chancellor Lina Soh leads the Republic from the elegant cityworld of Coruscant, located near the bright center of the Galactic Core (*random capitaliations indicates that this is High Art*).
But beyond the Core and its many peaceful Colonies, there is the Rim—Inner, Mid, and finally, at the border of what is known: The Outer Rim. These worlds are filled with opportunity for those brave enough to travel the few well-mapped hyperspace lanes leading to them, though there is danger as well. The Outer Rim is a haven for anyone seeking to escape the laws of the Republic, and is filled with predators of every type.
Chancellor Soh has pledged to bring the Outer Rim worlds into the embrace of the Republic through ambitious outreach programs such as the Starlight Beacon. Order and justice are maintained on the galactic frontier by Jedi Knights, guardians of peace who have mastered incredible abilities stemming from a mysterious energy field known as the Force. The Jedi work closely with the Republic, and have agreed to establish outposts in the Outer Rim to help any who might require aid.
The Jedi of the frontier can be the only resource for people with nowhere else to turn. Though the outposts operate independently and without direct assistance from the great Jedi temple on Coruscant, they act as an effective deterrent to those who would do evil in the dark.”
So, basically, CHAZ is running the galaxy, everyone is super happy about it and Visionary Chancellor Soh,* seems to be High Republic’s answer to Gretchen Whitmer.
Now, CHAZ wants to take over the last few remaining bastions of freedom on the Galaxy’s Edge (*capitalization indicates this author’s preference for another series*).
I have no idea what the Starlight Beacon outreach program is other than some thin edge of the socialist wedge. Probably setting up free universities on the galactic rim, for the kids of farmers with a curriculum that specializes in Gender and Species Studies. And I may be right about that, one of the things on the writer’s room board, wish list is “university.”
The creepiest part is the Jedi being the guys, people on the rim can turn to if Diversity and Inclusion are non-starters on their hard-bitten frontier planet. Apparently, the Jedi are now ANTIFA.
Why do I have a feeling I’m going to be rooting for the Sith Lords?
*Visionary Chancellor was capitalized as well so I assume that is title like; Supreme Leader.
The Dark Herald 
Wait, are they making the argument that the past was better? That’s new…
Oh, I get it: Lina Soh – apparently half Italian and half Chinese – is KK’s stand-in, and this is an attempt to glorify her soon-to-be-past reign before the horrible White Male future – represented by both Lucas and Favreau – arrives.
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This reads like parody. Ambitious outreach programs, the lack of self-awareness would be a joke if it wasn’t so tragic.
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I wonder if there will be a story about one planet on the outer rim which has more than its share of Caucasoid humanoids of the male gender. Where they cause trouble for a Jedi, who is just visiting a relative. Fortunately for her there will be rebel amongst them, a man with taste for astral flower beverages and amazingly quick light-saber skills. Together they will convince the GHMGs and solve the subplot, whatever it is.
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I’m actually kinda behind it. It’s great example of why the Star Wars galaxy keeps becoming a shitshow that is constantly looking for a strong ruler.
Personally I’d love to write for them. A story of smugglers who smuggle weapons out to the Outer Rim colonists for protection against the natives of the planets they settled. The job goes smoothly until they find out Jedi are out to shut down their speciesist gun-running scheme.
StarWars: The Rim Job. Coming Soon.
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“The Jedi work closely with the Republic” you say? Hmmm…
Jedi #1: “Ugh, I hate being out here on the O-Rim with all the yokels. This sucks.”
Jedi #2: “Hey, it’s a steady check. And you’ve only got five years before you get your pension.”
Jedi #1: “True. Hey, there’s a shopkeeper trying to protect his store from that Starlight Beacon Lives Matter activist! Get him!”
Jedi #2: “STOP RESISTING!”
Shopkeep: “What? Resisting what? Who are you?”
Jedi #1: “STOP RESISTING!”
(Lightsaber cuts through unarmed shopkeeper’s torso)
Jedi #2: “Hey, get home safe, that’s job #1, amirite?”
Jedi #1: “That’s how the Force stays with you.”
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So the Republic is colonizing the Outer Rim? Are you allowed to leave the Republic if you aren’t like-minded? What’s if people go to the Outer Rim to get away from the Republic? And how can the Jedi enforce order when the Republic does not have legal control of the Outer Rim?
At first I thought Galaxy’s Edge was going to be a bland military sci-fi series. Instead it turned into a very good series.
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The Prequels have shown that the Jedi are against secession, so it’s only logical that they’re ok with colonization.
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KK’s written herself in a corner given the state or the Outer Rim in The Phantom Menace (“Republic credits are no good here.” “The Republic doesn’t exist out here.”). Anything they do in this series will have to fail unless their plan is to reboot the prequels.
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Off-topic, but Cataline, any chance you could put your Bioshock post about game critics back up? It’s one of my favorites and it’s pretty relevant given the current Last Jedi of Us situation.
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I am not going to care about Star Wars. Write that out 100 times.
Because I keep reading posts like these.
High school byword: “Not vital to the security of the Empire.”
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This sounds like an article written by the Babylon Bee. From sentence One it’s nothing but lunacy. It’s also evident that Left Wing radicals have no idea how Right Wingers think, nor why population centers might be Left Wing and not-so-populated Rural Areas might be Right Wing. Imagine you’re a group of Space Amish living a hand to mouth, hardscrabble existence and suddenly a bunch of Jedi show up from the center of the galaxy to put on a Pride Parade in your home town. How tone deaf can you get?
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