I admit it. I had blinders on. I was looking for SJW upset and outrage over Rose Tico being slighted in the new movie. And there was indeed a bit of that.
But what I hadn’t looked for was the psychotic fury of the Reylo shippers at the death of their dark prince.
Now for most of us, his thoroughly predictable demise was a necessity dictated by the narrative.
In the first film we saw him order a village slaughtered, torture Po. Murder his uncle’s students, (presumably his friends or at least his classmates), execute his father by his own hand and participate in the literal (if silly) destruction of five inhabited planets.
While a good Christian will maintain that anyone can be redeemed, said Christian will also grant that being redeemed doesn’t get you out of being punished for your crimes. And Kylo had some pretty impressive crimes.
And while I won’t say that The Rise of Skywalker was a good film, it at least didn’t hand out any weird surprises in the name of subverting our expectations. Kylo atoned but he had to pay to the price for his many crimes with his life. I was more or less expecting this.
For those that didn’t see it. Rey (like any genuine Mary-Sue) dies tragically and heroically while defeating the Emperor. Kylo brings her back to life with Force magic. They kiss. He dies.
Honestly, I thought the kiss was a little out of the blue myself. But I drastically missed the mark on how the Reylos would take it.
For Reylos letting them, kiss and then killing Kylo was like Lucy pulling the football away while Charlie Brown is trying to kick it. And then tearing out his heart and eating it before his terrified and dying eyes.
They got the barest taste of what they wanted and then was shockingly torn away from them.
Many of them vaulted out the theaters at that moment. The tweet storms have been almost as bad as when Trump was elected.
“I’ve finally gotten five hour sleep. The most I’ve has since I saw…IT”
“I cried all night and had to call in sick to work the next day.”
“F#&k J.J. Abrams! I’m going to f@$king k!ll him!”
Lots and lots of death threats by the way.
While everyone in the Phandom Menace made fun of Roundhead Rian for his blithering incompetence. You know damn good and well that they would have been trumpeting it from the roof tops if any of us had ever threatened his life.
After all, this is just a movie about space wizards made for kids, isn’t it?
UPDATE: Doomcock was on this one too.