Star Wars: Final Post of 2019

Posted on by Dark Herald
He’s just so cute!
It’s not fair!
It makes me fucking angry, he’s so cute.

I can’t say how well you had it this year but I am happy to kick 2019 out the door and maybe down the long flight of stairs Joker was dancing on.

This post will be a quickie.

My second favorite SJW, Jenny Nicholson covers The Rise of Skywalker. I was expecting her to be all heartbroken that the SJWism had been excised. But she was only complaining about the things that I was complaining about.

Also she had the same idea that I did. After Rey blows up the transport that Chewbacca was on, (but secretly wasn’t), she would have had a flashback to when she was a little girl and she first used her Force powers when her parents were leaving. Accidently crashing their ship and killing them both. Kylo Force-skypes with her to comfort her and tells her, “It was an accident, you didn’t mean to kill your parents.”

Would have been a great little moment between the two the of them. Genuine bonding over shared grief. Or course that would have presupposed Rey could make a boo-boo even as child.

I was surprised that Jenny was taking the high road on this. She did mention that it was racist for Po Dameron to be a drug dealer. Although what he was, was spice smuggler the same as Han Solo, which wasn’t racist for reasons. But if NPCs don’t find hidden racism at least once day, they start to question the reason for their existance.

Then in the last five minutes, my world righted itself and Jenny cut loose on Rose Tico being written out of the movie.

NEXT

The Mandalorian has finished it’s first season, so I can now give you my opinion on it as a whole. The first three episodes were very good, the next two were off and dull. The sixth was okay but narratively confusing. The last two episodes were indeed excellent. The best of the series being the season finale.

I laughed at the Scout Troopers bitching about their jobs to each other. “Did you not hear? The Moff executed a dozen of his own troops a minute ago, just to make a point, I get that point! Do you get that point?”

I was also intrigued when the Moff cut his way out of the wreckage of his TIE fighter with something that was clearly the Darksaber. Which I thought was just something they came up with for The Clone Wars but apparently it is now a thing in the Mandoverse.

For those of you who want to see it but don’t want to line Mickey the Great and Terrible ‘s wallet. I have a little good news. most of the episodes run about 40 minutes long, Which means there is space for commercials built into them. Sooner or later it’s going to be on free tv.

Okay, I’m done here.

See you next year.

10 thoughts on “Star Wars: Final Post of 2019”

  2. Rose Tico had to go. Her character was a disaster.

    I don’t know how you watch Jenny Nicholson. I find her kind of creepy. Plus, it’s uncomfortable watching some girl talk about movies from her room surrounded by plushies.

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      2. have you seen how bad “Plan 9: Genocide of the Skywalkers” is?

        oh, yes.

        you’re going to retort by asking me if i’ve seen how bad the “Dune” movie is.

        maybe the 2020 version won’t suck?

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  6. i can see it now.

    Leto is the God EMPEROR of the Empire.

    the Jedi are a military wing of the Spacing Guild ( hence their fascination with the Trade Federation ) … spice is midichlorians.

    this might also offer an explanation for why there are giant space worms all over the place, they’re all sub-species of Shai Hulud.

    oooh, oooh, oooh, the Sarlacc is a sessile variant of Worm and when it consumes you, your body is encased in sandtrout / Little Makers, explaining how you can suffer digestion for a thousand years.

    damn, i forgot this:
    When Leto allows himself to be assassinated, the sandtrout release themselves to begin the sandworm lifecycle anew; subsequent offspring are tougher and more adaptable than their predecessors, allowing them to ultimately be more easily settled on other worlds, thus ensuring the survival of the sandworm species.

    so Star Wars occurs post-Leto and Palpatine is something else. failed branch of the Gesserit breeding program?

    Kamino is obviously the Tleilaxu homeworld.

    additional hypothesis, the Sequel Trilogy is the Star Wars variant of Movie 43

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